Symphony Impossible to Play
vriska!!! i dont even like her but she is very KAWAII!!
AND HER HAND ALMOST LOOKS LIKE IT’S DOIN SOMRTHING KINDA NAUGHTY HAHAJHGDSJ GODDAMMIT.
adventure time literally explaining colonialism in 30 seconds
the expression “i cant say that with a straight face” comes from the fact that straight people have no sense of humour and cant tell jokes
um can you not?are you straight because I’m sensing a lack of sense of humor
I bought my friend an elephant for their room.
They said “Thank you.”
I said “Don’t mention it.”
Is there a joke here that 15 thousand people get but I don’t?
YESSSSSSSSS. I live for fics where Erik has everyone cowering but a word from Charles will quiet him.
"I’m a Mac."
"and I’m a PC."
"I’m bought by higher-income people."
"when you see us as proxies for social class, these ads become less fun."
OKY NOTE TO SELF: BAILEYS IS IN THE CLOTHES WARDROBE PLEASE REMEMBER TO PUT IT BACK TOMORROW
Okay but imagine daddy!Zevran tho.
Staying home while the Warden goes out and kicks ass and brings home the bacon bc they both like it that way and also bc it keeps him out of trouble and out of sight of the Crows mostly.
Doing laundry (how many diapers can a baby even soil in one day!? Incredible!) and trying to keep the baby out of the basket of fresh clothes bc shitting in diapers is one thing, but on his just-washed clothes?? No way, that’s not happening on HIS watch!
Playing hide-and-seek with baby where he goes into full stealth mode to sneak up behind her and tickle her. All in good fun (and he loves baby’s laugh more than perhaps anything in the world except the Warden’s smile) but secretly he’s also trying to train her early on to protect herself.
Having food fights w/ baby when she won’t eat her food, that turn into tickle fights, that turn into cuddles, that turn into them both collapsing exhausted on the couch, snoring loud enough to wake the dead, with food plastered all over baby’s face.
Zevran being the one to get up in the middle of the night when baby cries and rock her back to sleep, and hold her well past the point she stops crying and closes her eyes again just because he likes the small weight and warmth of her in his arms.
Zevran baby-talking to her in both Fereldan and Antivan, because it’s been so long and he’s never going home again and he misses the sound of his mother tongue, and he wants her to grow up learning it.
Zevran watching baby play in their little yard and growing more determined than he has ever been about anything in his life that he would give up his own life to protect baby should any danger befall her.
Baby coming waddling up to Zevran, three years old and all beaming and happy smiles, shouting “Daddy! Daddy look what I can do!” as Zevran looks on in utter horror.
The Warden returning home from one of her missions, expecting to be greeted by a pair of bright smiles and laughing eyes, and only finding a note on the table instead:
The Circle will never have her. As long as I am alive, she will be safe.
I love you.
P.S. Burn this, and all future correspondence. Do not reply.